Health Update: My Fertility Journey and Autoimmune Disease Diagnosis

Well, friend, this is a long one. Grab a mug of warm tea and settle in on the couch. I want to start off by saying thank you for caring enough to take the time to read this post. It isn’t everyday that I open up in this way and write about the messy stuff going on in my life.

Although I generally try to keep my platforms a constant and reliable source of positivity and inspiration, I hope you can remember that the majority of it, like most people’s, is still a curated highlight reel. While I am incredibly grateful for my life, it is certainly not free of disappointment or struggles.

The past 6 months have been a period of intense growth and faith for me. I have learned more than ever what it means to be compassionate, patient, and trusting in life’s lessons and timing.

I will be following this blog post with another unexpected life update in a few days, but first let’s begin with my fertility journey and autoimmune disease diagnosis since those are the biggest challenges that I have been coming to terms with at this point.

Last August while Sam and I were in Canada celebrating our 1 year wedding anniversary, we decided to start “actively trying” to get pregnant. I went off of birth control a few months earlier in anticipation of making this shift and because I wanted to give my body a chance to clean out the hormones that I had been on for 12 years prior.

Now, the best way to describe my personality is to tell you that I’m the type of person that can’t play the lottery anymore. This is because every time I buy a ticket, I can’t help but become convinced, without a shadow of a doubt, that I have definitely won. You could say that I am a wildly optimistic person.

So, naturally, what do I think the month that we return home from Canada? Of course, I must be pregnant. Every woman in my family has historically gotten pregnant extremely easily and quickly. My cycle was a few days late, I was feeling more bloated than normal, I was super sleepy, etc.

Come to find out that this would be a continued pattern almost every month onward. Nearly every month, my cycle was “odd” (aka super late, light, or totally missing). Every month, I was praying for that second line on a pregnancy test to magically appear.

Both of our families and a handful of our friends knew that we were trying to get pregnant, so it became a constant (but well-intentioned) question of “are you pregnant?”, “why aren’t you drinking?”, and advice like “it’ll just happen when you stop stressing over it”. I found myself either politely smiling and shaking my head, or bursting into tears on the spot and replying with a “we’re trying” or “we’re hoping”.

I honestly wasn’t planning on sharing my fertility journey since it is deeply personal and still ongoing, but after trying to write about my health diagnosis’ without that part, I realized that it would be unfair to leave out this enormous and emotional chapter in my overall story.

So, since August I had been making lifestyle changes to “try” to get pregnant. I had listened to nearly every pregnancy podcast, read hundreds of blog posts, and added a bunch of supplements, foods, and health practices into my life. Some months we were tracking my ovulation and others months we were just “going with the flow” so I could lessen any potential stress. For some reason though, I was just feeling worse and my cycle was progressively getting more and more abnormal.

Around the start of the New Year I decided to make an appointment with an OBGYN in our new town “just to check” and make sure everything was on track. My general exam and pap schmear came back normal and my doctor told me that my hormones were likely still regulating from the years of being on birth control. I was told that we couldn't do any fertility tests until it had been officially 1 year since we started trying.

Nonetheless, something in my head kept telling me to request a full blood test panel. So, I called the office and they said if that would give me peace of mind then we could do it even though they didn’t recommend it.

At the time, my temperature control was completely out of whack; I was uncontrollably shivering all day every day, even with layers on while sitting in front of our fireplace. My hands were ice-cold and purple; my glands were extremely swollen, I was bloated 24/7, my hair was thinning, I was gaining weight for no apparent reason, and I was falling asleep around 7 or 8pm each night.

I was taking a literal handful of supplements every evening, adding herbs into my smoothies and coffees, drinking kombucha, eating fermented foods, fasting, exercising, meditating, etc.

Simply put, I was doing ANYTHING I thought would make me feel better.

These strange symptoms had been going on for a few months, but I kept putting them off thinking they would go away or justifying them as a result of stress. I never prioritized going to the doctor to have these things checked out until I thought that they may be affecting my chances of getting pregnant.

The day that I got the first call with my results, everything changed. I was sorting through emails at my desk when my doctor called and said that my blood test came back showing Hypothyroidism.

Now, being someone with no prior health conditions, I had no idea what this meant. I quickly did some research (specifically focused in on what that meant for my fertility), and although I was fairly upset, I thought “this is manageable”.

A few hours later, a friend’s blog post on the topic of women’s health popped up on my Instagram feed. In the second paragraph, there was a line about iodine and how too much of it could lead to Hypothyroidism, especially in patients with Hashimoto’s. I thought, “hmm well I started taking this iodine supplement a few months ago… I wonder if that has to do with all of this”.

So, I called my doctor and immediately she instructed me to stop taking the iodine supplement and come back in 30 days for more blood work once it was out of my system. I was so relieved. I thought “ah-ha! That’s the solution to this whole thing. I’ll be back to normal in 30 days.”

Now, fast forward to the end of February when I got back my 2nd round of results. They had “very slightly” improved from the first set, but they were still so concerning that she had me schedule an appointment with an Endocrinologist immediately following.

On March 4th, I had one of the toughest conversations I’ve ever had with a doctor when I was told that if I were to get pregnant with the state that my body was in that there could be 3 outcomes; 1) a pregnancy could potentially kill me, 2) I would have a miscarriage, or 3) our baby would be born with a thyroid disease. She urged me to get back on birth control immediately.

I was told that not only did I have Hypothyroidism, but I have also likely had Hashimoto’s for years now. On top of that, I was diagnosed with the most severe form of iodine and supplement poisoning that her and her colleagues at John’s Hopkins had ever seen. She told me that I had essentially shut down my thyroid function and that I was lucky that I wasn’t in the hospital with what my lab results were showing.

After investigating my “DIY healthy lifestyle”, we found that, even for someone who didn’t already have Hashimoto’s, I was WAY overdoing it with supplements. Not only was I taking an iodine supplement (because I thought it would help me get pregnant), but I was also taking my daily prenatal which had iodine in it, eating more seafood than any normal person (I really love poke, ok?), and taking other supplements and herbs on top of that.

It never occurred to me that all of these things that I thought were making me healthier could actually be doing the exact opposite.

I can’t even tell you how much I cried that day. The shame and embarrassment I felt (and am still sorting through) while explaining all of this to a team of doctors was overwhelming in and of itself. Needless to say, it was a lot to take in at once and to come to terms with the reality that I wouldn’t get to experience the joy of pregnancy anytime soon.

As someone who relies heavily on a “plan” and “timeline”, this news felt heartbreaking.

I am learning every day how to accept my mistakes, let go of control, lean into my faith, and trust that God’s timing is perfect. I know that there is a bigger plan for us than I could ever imagine or lay out on paper, but some days I still struggle with what that reality looks like.

After an ultrasound, urine tests, 6 rounds of lab work so far, and a new daily medication, I know that this journey is far from over. To be completely transparent, I’m not sure what comes next or how long my recovery will take.

Getting my health back on track is my number 1 priority right now. I am hopeful that by starting from scratch with zero supplements and vitamins, a low-iodine and Hashimoto’s diet (which is basically only fruit, veggies, and unsalted nuts), and a great team of doctors monitoring me every week, my health will improve and this will someday be reflected on as a learning lesson.

Someday I will reread this post with one hand rubbing my round baby belly and the other cupping a warm mug of tea. I will be even more grateful than I ever could have imagined to have morning sickness and swollen feet, and to eat cheese fries just because I can. The timing of these diagnosis’ will make sense and I will realize why this journey was necessary and perfect just as it was.

Thank you for taking the time to read this post and showing compassion as I navigate through this journey. If you have questions or want me to dive deeper into either of these specific topics, shoot me a message or comment on my latest Instagram post and let me know.

As always, if you are struggling and want someone to talk and relate to about any of these topics, I am always just an email or message away.

Want more lifestyle inspiration? Read How to Make a Vision Board for 2020 and Everything I’ve Bought from Amazon Lately.

xo Anna Elizabeth